I am the luckiest.

Dogs are perfect. They forgive easily, love hard, ask almost nothing from us, think our arrival back in their presence is magical, and carry a rare kind of unfiltered, deep joy few can muster. 

Dogs have only one flaw. They don't stay here on earth with us nearly as long as we need them to. I needed Oliver to stay with me forever. Whatever my forever is. But that was never in the cards. Despite the knowledge that their will life will be relatively short, and the entry ticket comes with a required return, we willingly open our hearts to the kind of love that spills out and bursts like fire. 

Oliver gave me unconditional love like no one ever has, the kind of adoration that reminded me daily how much I mattered to him. He sat with me when I was sad, danced with me in times of happiness, let me rub him for as long as I wanted when I needed comfort, and made me laugh out loud in the most small, unimportant moments. 

Endlessly charming, even in his final months everyone who met him assumed he was still in his youth. And so many are surprised he is gone because despite intellectual awareness of his disease he never seemed ill. 

But in the last several weeks, I noticed incremental changes. He tried to hide them, never wanting to feel my hurt or fear. And yet, while his spirit never dampened and his soul remained as sweet as ever, his body decided it had offered enough time.

I've had a few other experiences in life that have left me feeling as ripped open, raw, and lost as I feel right now. And in the moments when the depth of the breathtakingly impossible pain seeps in, I remember the weight of him leaning into me. I hear him playing with his toys. Or barking at absolutely everything that moved. I remember that this precious, kind, trusting, beautiful soul found mine and I got not only ten wonderful years with him - but a final one with something I had been seeking for a long time: Peace. 

Being truly at peace, feeling safe and calm, can be easily taken for granted. He and I found that together in this final year, and I feel immensely grateful for it. Because of him I am better, stronger, wiser, healthier, happier, and know how incredibly fortunate I am. My life doesn't read like a streak of lucky breaks. But when it comes to Oliver, I am the luckiest.

Oliver Miles

fall 2014 - summer 2025

My soulmate, my angel, my greatest love.