Endings and beginnings

 There's really no amount of time that could pass that would make my first piece of writing after losing Oliver easier. But I think I'm finally ready to try. I can't decide if I should be writing like the first episode of a series back after their summer break where you spend the first episode catching up from 'summer' (which in this case it mostly was) or if I skip the last few months and just move forward. 

Likely, it'll end up being a little bit of both.

Fall is my favorite season. I also love summer because the pace of life slows down, taking time off is normalized, and nothing feels as pressured. But autumn is the best. Spiced pumpkin chai lattes, leaves falling, pumpkins on the front porch, sweaters. I love it all. 

And this past summer and into the fall, I've been preparing for a truly new chapter - a new season if you will - of life. It's no secret to just about anyone who reads this blog (if there are any readers left - I would understand if you've disappeared since I did for awhile myself) that I'm closing the West Coast chapter in my life and returning to the East Coast.

I never dreamed I'd design a whole new life for myself only to find that just 15 months or so later I was boxing it up. At least not this time. When I moved to northern California in the summer of 2024 I had hopes of new friends, creating a name for myself at my new job, exploring new beaches and towns, finding my new favorite spots, and soaking in the sunshine. 

But that life was not meant to be.

Well, at least not entirely. I have met some amazing people. I poked my feet in the sand a handful of times. I feel grateful for the team I'm on and the work we've accomplished together. And we certainly have plenty of sun.

But in a couple weeks I'm going to make another move. It's different than all the other moves I've made. Some of them have been nothing but joy-filled. And admittedly, some have been nothing but a desperate need to make a change. This isn't different because it's both joy-filled and need based.

It's not even different because I'm moving thousands of miles away instead of just a few or hundreds. 

It's different because of the catalyst. 

When this all first started it felt like I'd prematurely rounded the corner into my final chapter. And maybe I have. I hope not. But whether I have or haven't, it's time to be near family. I'm lucky they all live in one city. And in a couple weeks I will join them and begin a new chapter - regardless of where it falls in the story. 

I'm glad to be back sharing that journey.