Faith over Fear

 

Mondays usually hold something for everyone. Maybe you had an incredible weekend, so you're crushed it's over. Perhaps your weekend left much to be desired and you welcomed Monday as a fresh start. It's probably somewhere in between.

And sometimes its just a Monday. Neither here nor there.

Today is not that kind of Monday for me. Today marks the start of my final week in my current role.

The plan has been in place for awhile. The date too. Enrollment Management work is cyclical and for all intents and purposes our cycle has come to a close. So it's time for me to step away.

And for me there's something very, very sad about this week.

I ran into someone I haven't seen in decades over the weekend. They asked the question I now dread.

"What are you up to?" (aka what do you do for a living to contribute to the gross domestic product)

And the reality is it's time for me to 'do' nothing. Not literally. I absolutely will need to find something to do each day. But it's time for me to take a break from work and let my body rest. To simply be still in what is normally the quest for more at this time of life and work on healing. 

And it is a huge leap of faith. It was a choice. It doesn't feel like one, make no mistake. But I'm electing to choose to take care of my body (it makes it abundantly clear I must if I don't). 

And like I would feel if I were up on a tall diving board or high mountain (much like this image), I am incredibly scared.

Which is why I have a choice to make from this day forward, and especially after this week - fear or faith. 

I am fearful. One does not receive a paycheck if said one does not work. You do the math on that.

There's currently not going to be an answer to the question, at least not a simple one, 'what do you do?'

But I am going to work to choose faith. I am going to have faith because while what I'm fearful of is there anyway, there's a choice here on how to get from one thing to the next. And one thing I have faith in is that there is a next thing.