I still feel funny

 I started in a new position this past summer, made a big move, and I'm at the point in my career where it was an investment on both sides. So it wasn't exactly popular and amazing that I had only been on the team for about three months when I had to take a couple weeks off to recover from a surgery I didn't see coming prior to the move. 

Despite that, I think we all assumed a couple weeks at home recuperating plus a few extra slower ones to truly recover and get my strength back was about all that would be necessary, and we'd soon all move on with our lives.

No one likes to hear that they don't look good. Most decent people don't like to say you don't look good. So when a colleague gently asked if I was feeling okay about six or seven weeks after the surgery, I knew she wasn't simply being nosy or the least bit rude. Because no. I didn't feel well. And yet again, all I could say is "I don't feel all that well, but I can't explain it. I just feel funny. But don't say anything to anyone. I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

That couldn't have been much later than early November 2024. 

Listen to the Whispers (you can keep reading or you can watch this first. My recommendation is you watch this first. But I'm not going to boss you around.)

You know how it is. Some of you know far better than me. Birthdays. Holidays. Family visiting. Plans. It's inconvenient to spend time after work or to take time during during the work day to go see a doctor. My brother and his girlfriend were traveling to see me at Christmas. I didn't want to mess up plans that were months in the making. 

It wasn't until a weekend in mid-January I finally hit that extreme pain threshold again that I heard my body saying to me 'ENOUGH.' 

So I made an appointment with Dr. K. I figured he hadn't done anything wrong, and that even if it was taking me longer to heal, there might not be much he could do. But you've heard the stories - you never know. Someone might have left a cotton ball behind. It happens.

I think upon examination he knew immediately my pain had nothing to do with his excellent work in repairing my hernia. But it is thanks to that recent surgery, and thus our established relationship, that he got the process moving. 

And it has been a complete and total blur ever since.